Tuesday, March 25, 2014

To Submit, or Not to Submit?

Okay, so, it’s 2014 and I’ve been waiting to write this blog … since 2012.  I think that I was waiting for the right time or the right situation (a relationship) to present itself.  That, and I was being downright lazy.  As we are settling into 2014, I’ve noticed that tons of my Facebook friends and people that I follow on Instagram are getting engaged and married, and I'm here for all of it.  Do you understand?  ALL OF IT.  I am such a huge fan of love.  I’m in love with the pure, genuine, and unconditional emotion that two people share.  I can’t wait to embark on such a challenging, yet beautiful journey with my future husband.  My opinion on this topic may be void to some because I’ve been single for a while, but I’m voicing it anyway.

On social media, the topics of relationships and the roles of their participants have arisen, especially the topic of dominance vs. submission.  Who dominates and who submits?  Naturally, woman is expected to submit while man leads the relationship.  And naturally, there are people who negate this; I’m not one of them.

During one of my trips to the barbershop, the aforementioned topic was visited.  A woman with her son was asked by one of the barbers, “Would you submit in a relationship?”  Her response was, “Hell naw, I ain’t submittin’ to no man!”  After she said that, I immediately chuckled and one of the other barbers noticed, and then asked me the same question.  I was secretly hoping that he would.  I politely and quietly replied, “Absolutely.”  The woman was shocked and the men applauded.  Because of those reactions, I felt the need to explain myself.  Fortunately, my mom and I had a conversation on this very subject a few weeks prior, so I was well-versed.

When I was a baby, my family attended a church called Bread of Life with J.D. Ford as Head Pastor.  One of his sermons focused on the roles of man and woman in a relationship.  My mother visited it several times during our conversation.  During the sermon, Pastor Ford made it evidently clear that man is dominant and woman is submissive in a successful relationship.  He didn’t mean that man is an egotistical bonehead who rules with an iron fist, and that woman is to be barefoot and pregnant all of the time.  Man is supposed to be a provider, a protector, and a leader.  Woman is supposed to be his support, his strength, and his confidant. 

An analogy used by Pastor Ford regarding submission involved the family unit and the human body.  The family unit is the body while the man is the head.  The head houses the brain, which makes all of the decisions for the body:  from involuntary twitches to the complex activity known as communication.  What supports the head, though?  What connects the head to the body?  That’s right:  the neck.  Woman is, metaphorically, the neck.  She provides support to the man like the neck provides support to the head.  Without it, the head would have no stability.  The head cannot survive without the body just as the body cannot survive without the head. Makes sense, right?
 
Just in case the head-body analogy didn’t work for you, try this one on for size.  Ladies, let’s say that you went on a date with your significant other to the park.  You two are wandering with no cares or worries, just enjoying each other’s company.  When you have no real destination, you walk beside him.  No one is leading anyone.  You’re just taking this aimless stroll together, side-by-side.  Then, you come to a busy sidewalk.  People are constantly walking at different paces.  There are people sitting outside enjoying a meal along your path.  The people, tables, chairs, and even pets become potential obstacles.  What do you do?  Well, one may speculate that you naturally step behind him or he’ll step in front of you, if not both simultaneously, and he’ll lead you through the crowd, hand-in-hand.  He holds your hand tightly and you pull closer so that you won’t separate or get lost.  Without either of you realizing, he becomes your protector, your shield from harm.  If anything happens while passing through this slightly chaotic traffic of people, then he'll take the brunt of it.

Think of your relationship in the same manner.  When you and he make important decisions of which neither knows the outcome, you explore options together, side-by-side.  When barriers pose a threat to you while exploring said options, he takes the lead to provide a solution and to, also, protect the family.  He leads; you follow.

I made this same case-and-point during my barbershop visit, which led to a healthy debate.  I’m not saying that you must submit to man in every relationship.  Not everyone deserves that treatment, but when it’s THAT one, you will, willingly and effortlessly, submit.  Keep in mind that he needs you just as much as you need him, and that sentiment is not to be taken lightly.

Some women believe that men being leaders in a relationship means that he is superior.  Wrong.  Your true mate and you are equally yoked.  The follower is just as important as the leader.  You’re his support and his drive.  A leader would not be without any followers.  Think about it.  Would Dr. Martin Luther King have been as impactful on American history had he walked alone? Would your tweets exist if you had zero followers?  

Your significant other has the weight of the world on his shoulders while you have his weight on yours.  If you take care of him, then he’ll take care of everything else including, no, ESPECIALLY you.  What do I know, though?  I’m just a single, black, 20-something-year old woman who highly believes in empiricism, and that there is still such a thing as true love.

Stay up.  Stay you.

C. sirraH

Saturday, January 11, 2014

BBBD DIY Moisturizing Braid Spray w/my Lianne La Havas music cover!




Watch Nina as she makes her homemade braid spray! This spray works great for reducing itching and serves as a good after workout spray as well. Nina is such an inspiration. Much love to her for using my cover as her background music. The full cover of Lianne La Havas can be found at www.soundcloud.com/jennilovette.

Thanks for reading!
JL.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

7 Ways to Practice Peace.....Joyce Meyer Daily Devotional

Good morning. I just wanted to share my daily devotional from Joyce Meyer with you all. Peace is sometimes hard to find in this crazy world we're living in so these steps might help set you on the right path. Peace.....J



Living in God's peace is vital to enjoying life. I believe that one of the keys to living with peace in your life is taking small steps toward peace every day. Here are a few tips you can use to develop a more peaceful lifestyle.

1. Be selective with how you spend your time. You may be trying to do too many things and end up doing none of them well. Hurrying is the flesh trying to do more than the Holy Spirit is leading you to do. Be led by the Spirit.

2. Be prepared to say "no" nicely. Sometimes we take on things we shouldn't because we're uncomfortable saying no. Ask God to give you the words to say no when you need to.

3. Resist the spirit of procrastination. God's Word tells us to exercise self-discipline. Do what you know you need to do now so you can fully enjoy your times of rest.

4. Eliminate key distractions. If you know you are prone to certain distractions, such as watching TV, set some guidelines for yourself.

5. Set appropriate boundaries for interruptions. Life is full of interruptions, but you can learn to set boundaries that help you manage them in healthy ways, such as scheduling times when you are "off limits." Schedule time to give yourself a break.

6. Modify your life. Ask God to show you out-of-the-box ways to save time and trouble. For instance, when I don't have time to do the dishes, I use paper plates!

7. Pray and listen. If you can see that your plan is not producing peace, go back to God, pray for peace in the now, and for the wisdom to make changes that will benefit your life.

The bottom line is to make peace a priority, take practical steps toward it, and let God lead you every day into His perfect peace that passes all understanding.

Prayer Starter: God, lead me into Your peace that passes all understanding. Show me the daily steps I can take to walk in Your peace for me.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

All New Everything.

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone! I hope that 2012 was an awesome year for you and 2013 will be even better....claim it.

My brand has been going through some much needed changes for the new year and I must say I am pleased. I'm pleased with where I am and where I'm headed. God is good.

I have some exciting biz ideas that are on the way that I REALLY hope you guys will love and embrace. I have some lovely people/spirits in my life and we are looking to expand our brands and do some wonderful things together.  So please stay tuned :)

Last, but not least, I have a new website home! I still have some kinks to work out, but I have some fave pieces available and will be adding new ones on a regular. Thank you do all the LOVE and PATIENCE, 2013 is looking grand!


Love Jenni L.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

All About Locked Box...



Hello Lovettes!

There has been some nice (mostly from ladies) AND not so nice curiosity (mostly from guys lol) about what and who "Locked Box" is all about..Sooo allow me to explain.

First of all, let me say that "Locked Box" AKA, "TeamLockedBox" is a positive project of mine that I am quite passionate about.... ~Wait, I like that, Project Locked Box....Hmmm, I may have to use that. It's not about bitter women who sit around and bash men or lonely women who "can't get any." That is NOT the focus of these women.

As we all know, sexual temptations are all around us and as inviting as it may be, there are some men and women out here that are abstaining from lust until God sends them love (marriage).
Is it easy? No. Is it possible? Very.

I just recently celebrated a 3 year abstinence anniversary in July. Celebration you say? Yes! It's most definitely a celebration for me, a single mother, who has made some HUGE mistakes in the past when it came to dating, love, and sex. It has, and will continue to be, with the help of God that I make this happen. So please know that I am not perfect, nor do I claim to be, but I am proud of my 3 year accomplishment :) I know that there are other women (and men) that need inspiration to fight the good fight.

One lady that inspires me to the fullest is Heather Love. She is on Instagram and Twitter as HeatherLLove. She has a movement called The Pinky Promise, that encourages women to honor God with their bodies and their lives. She is so knowledgable and sweet, I fell in love with her INSTANTLY. The relationship she has with her husband is just as inspirational as her movement. She is loved by many all over the world! I just wanted to make sure that I acknowledge The Pinky Promise movement because it is deserved and I don't want to come off as though my idea is something new under the sun. As a matter of fact, I'm making a Pinky Promise to keep my box locked because I know that my Adam is sleeping :)

The ability to control these desires is a process that involves allowing God to be the head of your life and your everything! No boyfriend/girlfriend/side chick/boyfriend #2/cut buddy/one night stand/or whoever, is worth sacrificing your relationship with God for.
You have to make up in your mind that you are tired of blocking your blessings by giving into your own desires.
Romans 12:2 -New Living Translation tells us:

Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

I don't know about you, but I enjoy being different from the things of this world. That's why I don't mind the negativity, it only fuels me.

Well, I've rattled on long enough. If it's God's will, you will see plenty more of Locked Box soon.
It's not a joke, fad, or trend. It's a lifestyle that everyone is not ready for, but it's here and so am I for whoever wants to know more.

Much Love.....Jenni
Tee shirts and jewelry coming soon :)